How to Help People in Need
Are you pouring every ounce of emotional energy into helping people, and feel like you’re emptying your tank in vain?
The truth … it’s easy to feel like you’ve completely run out of gas when it comes to helping people.
Why?
Well, let’s face it. People are … people.
Sometimes they are unpredictable. Sometimes they don’t listen. Sometimes they make terrible decisions. Yes, even when you’ve given them all the resources and tips and tricks to NOT make these mistakes.
People are human … and humans are flawed.
That’s why the world around us is always trying to find the “perfect answer” when it comes to helping others succeed.
There are ways to help others take steps forward and reach sustainable success WITHOUT hitting burnout trying to do it.
Step 1: Understand It’s Not About You
I know. I know.
You’re dedicating your life to helping others. So, how can I even indicate the work you do is about you?
Well, because you are human too, and humans have the tendency to see others and their situations through the filter of their own values and experiences. While it’s good to have your own set of values and experiences, and those values and experiences will help you connect with others, if you are going to really help someone, it’s important to understand their values and perspectives.
How do you do this?
Ask. Conversationally of course. Ask them to share what their top values are and WHAT those values mean to them. You and the person you are helping may both share the value of integrity; however, you may have different definitions of what that value means. Once you can get conversation flowing about values and what those values mean, both you and those you are helping will have a better understanding of the WHY behind the decisions they make. You, as the helper, will also be able to remind them of their true WHY during the course of your support.
So, remember, the foundation of helping anyone succeed is to help them identify and define their top values … to help them pinpoint their WHY.
Step 2: Understand the Goal of Goal Setting
Years into the service field, I realized there are two common mistakes made as it relates to helping people set goals.
The first mistake is that goal setting is simply a part of the paperwork and never looked at again.
The second mistake is that goals are set to reflect the program needs rather than the needs and wants of the person being helped.
Two things then happen when either of these errors are made in the goal setting process. The person being helped isn’t really being supported to reach their goals and they are usually only complying to check the boxes of the people helping them. Neither of these circumstances lead to SUSTAINABLE goal achievement.
6 Steps to Successful Goal Setting
1. IDENTIFY personal goals
2. Define WHY the goals are important
3. Create SMALL steps to achieving each goal
4. Identify potential BARRIERS to achieving each goal
5. Identify STRENGTHS and RESOURCES to help them overcome each barrier and achieve each goal
6. CELEBRATE and AFFIRM EVERY step taken toward success
If you’re in the service field, goals are not only a part of the program structure, but they are also key to helping those you serve become engaged, remain engaged, and feel empowered enough to sustain success once achieved. Don’t waste one of the most powerful tools you have by tucking it away in a file somewhere, never to be seen or discussed again. Use this tool and make it the foundation of every discussion and interaction.
Step 3: Learn to Let them Lead
Wait a minute. You must have read that wrong. After all, you are the professional with all the years of experience. It’s your job to lead.
The short answer … yes and no.
While you do have training, experience, passion, and wisdom on your side, the person you are helping is ultimately the captain of their own ship. It would be easy for you to take charge and guide that ship through all the stormy waters and get it to the right destination. But, if you do that, what’s next? When you get off the ship and onto the next, the person you just helped successfully port, is stuck because the success was really yours.
So, how do you help someone take on the stormy waters and make it to the right destination?
If you have helped them identify and define their values, have helped them create achievable goals, and keep these two aspects of your support to the front and center, you’ve already helped them create the foundation they need to be successful.
If a person knows and understands their WHY, has goals they are actively working toward, are aware of the potential barriers AND the strengths and resources they have to OVERCOME said barriers, you are there to simply support, guide, and affirm when they need it. But they are leading their success, and it’s important to know that. When you help them navigate the stormy waters and port their ship in successful destinations, they have the confidence and ability to keep sailing through life … safely and sustainably.
This doesn’t mean they won’t hit rough patches along the way, but it means you have helped them discover the passions that drive them and uncover strengths within them to do what may have been thought impossible. Once they’ve done the “impossible” with your guidance, more and more great achievements enter the realm of possibility for them.
Yes, it’s really this simple.
Understanding it’s not about you, understanding the goal of goal setting, and learning to let them lead are three of the most powerful steps you can take in helping others. And, when you take these steps correctly, you aren’t pouring yourself out until you’re running on empty!